RETURN TO WOLFENSTEIN!

The whole time I was waiting for Mirage’s Mortyr to be released in the good old US of A, I was fondly remembering the archaic Wolfenstein 3D (I also thought back fondly to the original ’80s titles as well) and how much fun it was to kill goose-steppin’ Nazis. Then I got Mortyr and played it. All hope was lost. It’s an absolutely terrible game. Wolf 3D, which was released in the early ’90s, had better gameplay! Hell, the original 1980s titles had better gameplay, and they only required 64K of RAM! So after the horrific experience of playing in Mortyr’s fairyland of blandness and Nazilike automatons, I greet the news of id Software’s third part proposed Return to Wolfenstein 3D, or Wolf 3D in Quake 3’s clothing, with open arms and a song in my heart. I love the idea, but Mortyr stains the memory; shooting Nazis in a castle environment seems less fun than it did earlier — like December.

But the real reason we should hold our enthusiasm for this new title is the fact that former members of Xatrix (now called Gray Matter Studios) are developing it. Remember Xatrix? Remember Redneck Rampage? Remember Kingpin? Great, just great…. Nazis capable of flatulence and cursing like sailors, all with Cypress Hill looping in the background. Ugh.

PCData’s Top Five Computer Games

1. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire – Disney magic kingdoms cheat online Interactive
Mike Ely of Firaxis used one of Sid’s Dino Diaries to wax philosophical about why the TV show is so popular. Perhaps the same logic could be applied to the game’s success? Read it here.

2. Centipede – Hasbro Interactive
Was there a price drop or something? Must’ve been a price drop. Yeah. Either that or the whole world has gone mad. Must be a price drop.

3. Parker Brothers Classic Card Games – Hasbro Interactive
Of course, it makes perfect sense that a card game CD-ROM would blow into the chart at number three. Perfect sense. Someone, please tell me why this makes sense.

4. Milton Bradley Classic Games – Hasbro Interactive
Aaaah! Aaaaaah! What’s going on? Is Hasbro bussing elderly PC owners to Best Buy or something?

5. Roller Coaster Tycoon – Hasbro Interactive
Still Hasbro. Hasbro is God. Everyone loves Hasbro. Their symbol is a smiley face. They spread happiness. I feel tingly.

Rounding things out we have the indefatigable Age of Kings (6), Quake III (7), Deer Hunter III (9), Hoyle Board Games (10 — from Havas, thankfully, but I suspect the same elderly buyers are involved) and at #8 we have RCTycoon: Corkscrew Follies, from … Hasbro …